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Alternatives to parking tickets

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Matt
Posts: 1464
Joined: Mon Dec 06, 2004 12:18 pm
Location: Ann Arbor

Alternatives to parking tickets

Post by Matt » Thu Oct 03, 2019 5:33 am

An individual was somewhat surprisingly named CEO of a paper shredding company roughly three years ago. His main competitor was a person who allegedly identifies as a woman, and as such, would have been the first female CEO of the paper shredding company. As a matter of fact, her husband previously served as CEO of the same company and once survived a hostile takeover attempt. The woman did not take her non-selection very well.

The man who was selected as the CEO was considered to be a bit brash, with a very large ego. HIs selection was largely assumed to have occurred because his predecessor was widely regarded as an abject failure, and the new guy was relatively plain spoken about what needed to be done to turn the fortunes of the struggling company around.

The woman who did not get the job had a lot of people in the company and in the immediate surrounding area of the physical location of the company. You see, the parking situation was not exceptional. This woman had "befriended" the meter maids in the area in order to obtain parking wherever she wanted. This befriending happened after several meter maids, that the woman was close to and knew a lot about her personal parking habits, committed suicide by shooting themselves in the back of the head.

After the woman was not selected, she bought a car that looked identical to the man who had been selected as CEO over her. She then began a concerted effort to disobey every parking law imaginable. She also worked with a photojournalist to photograph all of the violations. We're talking parking over lines, parking in handicap spots, parking in fire lanes, parking in a 2 hour spot for 2 hours and five minute, etc. Meanwhile, the license plate was always obscured from the photos. If it had not been, people would have seen that the plate in the photographed car said "CANKLES" as opposed to the "BIGHANDS" of the CEO's car.

Having said that, the meter maids are intending to write parking tickets on the basis of the photos. As an alternative, should the CEO volunteer to have his right foot (brake foot) cut off and his vehicle lit on fire?



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