Ron Cameron

[Majik]

Just saw an ESPN headline that said Lakers interview Stotts for coaching job. Ron will think it is his buddy Ray Scott.

[Bobbert]

Hello Everybody!

A Broadway musical tribute to Detroit sports talk legend Ron Cameron

(The curtain opens to a dark stage. The powerful beat of "We Will Rock You" fills the theater. The audience joins in with foot stomping and hand clapping. As the song plays, images of Ron's scrappy youth appear on a screen.)

("We Will Rock You" segues into "We are the Champions," with screen images of a young Ron behind a radio microphone. The song ends with Ron's familiar introduction, "Hello everybody, this is Ron Cameron!")

(The show proceeds with song parodies, interspersed with narrative)

***********

(Full lyrics on page 213)

Cameron's Show Theme Song

(With apologies to Gilligan's Island)

Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale,
A tale of a radio show
That moved to WDTK
For how long—no one knows.

***********

(Page 213)

With my apologies to the Mary Tyler Moore Show ... and Oscar Hammerstein:

Who can turn his audience off being a boor?
Who can take all things
And suddenly make them into something we deplore?

***********

(Page 219)

Welcome Back Ron
Your diarrhea was your ticket out
Welcome Back
To that same old place you complained about

***********

(Page 223)

Ron:

WDTK is the place for me
24/7 podcasts and Hannity
Mark Wilson back by my side
Keep WPON, just give me my guests who died

***********

(Page 229)

To the music of Car 54, Where Are You?:

There's a slowdown in the calls,
And no emails in the queue.
There's a cub producer to berate
Even if he's just passing through.
There's all the dead air filled with talk of Lidle,
And his days as Detroit's idol.
Denny McLain, Where Are You?

***********

(Page 229)

Alex, Matt, Martin, and Luke

A somber and wistful parody of "Abraham, Martin, and John"

Anybody here seen my old friend Alex?
He produced a lot of programs,
But he knew when to move on,
I just looked around, and he's gone.

***********

(Page 235)

Can't Do Ron Ron

(Chorus courtesy of the Buzzboard Balladeers)

I heard him making promises he could not keep
Can't do Ron-Ron-Ron, can't do Ron-Ron
Imaginary guests who will appear next week
Can't do Ron-Ron-Ron, can't do Ron-Ron
Sure, Denny will come
But the phone line's mum
Ron's been fooled again
Can't do Ron-Ron-Ron, can't do Ron-Ron

***********

(Page 268)

Harangue on, Scoopy
Scoopy, harangue on
Harangue on, Scoopy
Scoopy, harangue on
Scoopy lives in a very bad part of town (ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh)
And everybody, yeah, tries to put my Scoopy down (ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh)
Scoopy, I don't care what you madly spew (ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh)
'Cause you know, Scoopy, boy, I'm not above you (ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh)

***********

(Page 300)

A Christmas Sing Along with Ron

(White Christmas)

I'm dreaming of a real program,
Just like the ones at 'XYZ,
Where the ads are pre-taped,
And guests are not late,
And calls come in all the time.

(Let It Snow)

Well the calls are getting fewer,
And the show's gone down the sewer,
When there's nothing else left to do,
Read an ad!
Read an ad!
Read an ad!

***********

(Page 312)

Ol' Ron Cameron

(Good King Wenceslas)

Ol' Ron Cameron hosts a show,
On a Sunday evening,
Telling stories on the air,
Some not worth believing.

***********

(Page 386)

Get Me to the Show on Time

A tip of the hat to Lerner and Loewe's "Get Me to the Church on Time"

I've got a show this Sunday evening,
I've got to reach the studio,
But a flat tire,
Harmed my desire,
To get me to the show on time.

***********

(399)

Hey Ron

(A Beatlesque take on Coach Ron)

Hey Ron,
Your show needs help,
There are things you can do to fix it,
The minute
You let go of your ego,
Your show begins to be worth hearing.

***********

(Page 423)

To the music of Matchmaker, Matchmaker (with apologies to lyricist Sheldon Harnick, whose 98th birthday is April 30), I offer this rendering from the sequel to FIddler on the Roof, Quibbler is a Goof:

Factchecker, Factchecker
Let me make up the facts
Pay me no mind
Catch me not when I lapse

Factchecker, Factchecker
Look not at your "machine"
And give me the perfect "facts"

***********

(Ava Gardner's recording of "Can’t Help Lovin’ Dat Man")

(Bob Seger's recording of "Beautiful Loser")

(Frank Sinatra's recording of "My Way")

(As the notes fade away on "My Way", Ron strides across the stage to a standing ovation.)

(As Ron walks off the stage, the theater is filled with a reprise of "We are the Champions" that concludes with Alex's old taped voice over saying, "Sponsored by Sportstalk with Ron Cameron")


CREDITS

Dramatic narration by Mr. Positive
Sound effects by Kurt and Cowboy
Incidental music by Martin Anthony (formerly of WPON)
Lyrics contributed by the Michigan Radio and TV Buzzboard
Musical accompaniment by Bennie and the Jets
Production by Luke
Insurance services by Alex
Accounting services by Denny McLain (former co-owner of the Peet Packing Company in Chesaning, Michigan)
Janitorial services by Mark Wilson (who finally got a job from his many appearances on Ron's show)
Catering services by Mark from Warren (who got tired of waiting for Ron to open a restaurant and opened up his own)

[Momo]

Bravo, Bobbert! That's going to be one crowded stage when the Tony for best musical is awarded

[Bobbert]

Bravo, Bobbert! That's going to be one crowded stage when the Tony for best musical is awarded

Thanks. If they ever remake "The Producers", "Hello Everybody!" would be a good replacement for "Springtime for Hitler". It would have the same train wreck appeal as Ron's radio show.

[Majik]

Bravo, Bobbert! That's going to be one crowded stage when the Tony for best musical is awarded

Thanks. If they ever remake "The Producers", "Hello Everybody!" would be a good replacement for "Springtime for Hitler". It would have the same train wreck appeal as Ron's radio show.

Excellent effort Bobbert and Willie108. The creative juices are starting to really flow around her now.

Springtime for Cameron has a nice ring to it too.

[edj]

Would like to see Luke help out more even if Ron ignores him but he’s busy with his far superior sports show on Saturdays and having a role in operating WDTK and WLQV.

[Willie108]

You gotta think that our hero thinks the Kentucky Derby is some hat they make in Louisville.

[radiofan1974]

Well hello everyone…

It’s Sunday, time for the longest running sports show in the world, Sportstalk with Ron C

First off happy Mother’s Day to my fellow buzzboard Ron C followers-hope wherever your mom or motherly figure is today it’s a day of reflection you.

The bummer part of this is I believe if it’s brought up to Ron, if I remember right, Ron left his home at a early age?

On to tonight’s show

Will Ron remind possible guest George Blaha, that is was him who got George started in the industry and all success he has is due to Ron

Could we get a insider coaching red wing update from close illitch confidante Ron c

As Miguel Caberra passes Al Kaline, On the Tiger
Hit list Ron continue to blame him for the tigers current season

Will unnamed producer continue to chime in
And not overstep his bounds

Will emails continue another week!

That’s questions, four callers and your input tonight on sportstalk!

[Momo]

IF George Blaha appears tonight, how likely is it that we'll see a repeat of Ron's last interview with him? That is, the only part of George's long career that likely will be covered is that which involved Ron. And how many times will Ron veer off onto a monologue about someone he knows or knew? And how many of those people will (the often silent bystander) George (have) know(n)? In any event, as always, it will be a VERY interesting hour (if, again, George shows).

[Bobbert]

Well hello everyone…

It’s Sunday, time for the longest running sports show in the world, Sportstalk with Ron C

First off happy Mother’s Day to my fellow buzzboard Ron C followers-hope wherever your mom or motherly figure is today it’s a day of reflection you.

The bummer part of this is I believe if it’s brought up to Ron, if I remember right, Ron left his home at a early age?

On to tonight’s show

Will Ron remind possible guest George Blaha, that is was him who got George started in the industry and all success he has is due to Ron

Could we get a insider coaching red wing update from close illitch confidante Ron c

As Miguel Caberra passes Al Kaline, On the Tiger
Hit list Ron continue to blame him for the tigers current season

Will unnamed producer continue to chime in
And not overstep his bounds

Will emails continue another week!

That’s questions, four callers and your input tonight on sportstalk!

This week on the Mother of All Sports Talk Shows:

If George Blaha shows up, will one of the great mysteries of the 21st century finally be solved? Who is older—Ron Cameron or George Blaha?

Will Ron make any comment on yesterday's amazing Kentucky Derby, or will he say that he didn't have the time to watch "the most exciting two minutes in sports"?

Has Cowboy finally confirmed through Ancestry.com that he is related to every professional athlete who ever lived?

Has Ron given C's Cards & Collectibles the 100,000 unsold copies of Sport Fans' Journal that he has been storing for 30 years?

Is Ron still talking to himself with stunned amazement about the New York Mets batter who choked up on his bat last Sunday night?

Will Kurt follow up last week's stirring recitation of the "Spahn & Sain" poem with "Casey at the Bat" or "Tinker to Evers to Chance"?

[Bobbert]

First off happy Mother’s Day to my fellow buzzboard Ron C followers-hope wherever your mom or motherly figure is today it’s a day of reflection you.

The bummer part of this is I believe if it’s brought up to Ron, if I remember right, Ron left his home at a early age?

From Neil Rubin's feature article on Ron in the Detroit Free Press (1/26/1990):

[Bobbert]

What is everyone’s first memory of Ron? I’m 22 years old and I met Ron when I was 18, that was the first time I’ve ever heard of the legend. I didn’t believe any of his stories of being a major key in the radio world until you guys started posting these news clips or discovering Sports View Today.

Having been a heavy listener of radio and an ardent follower of the local teams, I do not recall ever hearing of Ron until about 1986. I had been out of Michigan during his heyday years. One day while twisting the dial on the radio I found him on WCAR. I was captured by the it’s so bad it’s good Ed Wood type aspect of his production.

At that time he had his Sports Fans Journal going. On his broadcast he was asking for people to come work on the paper selling ads, no experience needed. I called and we set up a meeting at his office, which I think was somewhere on Telegraph in Southfield (probably not far from a no tell motel). He mentioned that he had a former Tiger selling ads for him. I think it was the utility infielder Chuck Scrivener or someone like that. When I inquired about how the contracts worked, he said he did not use contracts, I noped out on that opportunity. I now kick myself thinking of all the free breakfast specials I may have missed out on.

There is one other thing I remember from that encounter. Now I can understand that maybe for medical reasons that a person might need to forego wearing socks, but for some reason I am suspicious of those who wear loafer shoes without socks. Now maybe it was a onetime occurrence, but in my mind I think that he is just too lazy/ busy to put them on in the morning or it is too much bother to launder a fresh supply. Or maybe the maid threw out all his socks that day.

It looks like the loafer/no socks look was part of Ron's regular style:

From Neil Rubin's feature article on Ron in the Detroit Free Press (1/26/1990):

[Willie108]

Wanna bet George stiffs our hero.

[Bobbert]

Wanna bet George stiffs our hero.

Wouldn't surprise me. He got a big feature article in the Detroit Free Press last week and might think he got all the attention he needed from that.

[Warriorstrong13]

Well hello everyone…

It’s Sunday, time for the longest running sports show in the world, Sportstalk with Ron C

First off happy Mother’s Day to my fellow buzzboard Ron C followers-hope wherever your mom or motherly figure is today it’s a day of reflection you.

The bummer part of this is I believe if it’s brought up to Ron, if I remember right, Ron left his home at a early age?

On to tonight’s show

Will Ron remind possible guest George Blaha, that is was him who got George started in the industry and all success he has is due to Ron

Could we get a insider coaching red wing update from close illitch confidante Ron c

As Miguel Caberra passes Al Kaline, On the Tiger
Hit list Ron continue to blame him for the tigers current season

Will unnamed producer continue to chime in
And not overstep his bounds

Will emails continue another week!

That’s questions, four callers and your input tonight on sportstalk!

My name is Luke