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Fun in the Snow

Posted: Sun Dec 18, 2022 10:11 pm
by Turkeytop
It snowed last night...

8:00 am: I made a snowman.

8:10 - A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.

8:15 - So, I made a snow woman.

8:17 - My feminist neighbor complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere.

8:20 - The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snowmen instead.

8:22 - The transgender man..women...person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts.

8:25 - The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.

8:28 - I was being called a racist because the snow couple is white.

8:31 - The middle eastern gent across the road demanded the snow woman be covered up.

8:40 - The Police arrived saying someone had been offended.

8:42 - The feminist neighbor complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needed to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.

8:43 - The council equality officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.

8:45 - The TV news crew from ABC showed up. I was asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snowwomen? I replied "Snowballs" and am now called a sexist.

9:00 - I was on the News as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobe sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.

9:10 - I was asked if I have any accomplices. My children were taken by social services.

9:29 - Far left protesters offended by everything marched down the street demanding for me to be arrested.

By noon it all melted

Moral:

There is no moral to this story. It is what we have become, all because of snowflakes.

Merry Xmas to all :-)

Re: Fun in the Snow

Posted: Sun Dec 18, 2022 10:54 pm
by Mega Hertz
This is great. I'm totally stealing it.

Re: Fun in the Snow

Posted: Sun Dec 18, 2022 11:33 pm
by Deleted User 15835
No mention of Parson Brown.

Re: Fun in the Snow

Posted: Mon Dec 19, 2022 5:48 am
by Matt
Turkeytop wrote:
Sun Dec 18, 2022 10:11 pm
It snowed last night...

8:00 am: I made a snowman.

8:10 - A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.

8:15 - So, I made a snow woman.

8:17 - My feminist neighbor complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere.

8:20 - The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snowmen instead.

8:22 - The transgender man..women...person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts.

8:25 - The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.

8:28 - I was being called a racist because the snow couple is white.

8:31 - The middle eastern gent across the road demanded the snow woman be covered up.

8:40 - The Police arrived saying someone had been offended.

8:42 - The feminist neighbor complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needed to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.

8:43 - The council equality officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.

8:45 - The TV news crew from ABC showed up. I was asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snowwomen? I replied "Snowballs" and am now called a sexist.

9:00 - I was on the News as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobe sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.

9:10 - I was asked if I have any accomplices. My children were taken by social services.

9:29 - Far left protesters offended by everything marched down the street demanding for me to be arrested.

By noon it all melted

Moral:

There is no moral to this story. It is what we have become, all because of snowflakes.

Merry Xmas to all :-)
You forgot about the part where you were mad at yourself for not hiring a union snowman builder...

Re: Fun in the Snow

Posted: Mon Dec 19, 2022 8:54 am
by Turkeytop
Matt wrote:
Mon Dec 19, 2022 5:48 am


You forgot about the part where you were mad at yourself for not hiring a union snowman builder...

I AM a Union snowman builder.

Re: Fun in the Snow

Posted: Mon Dec 19, 2022 2:06 pm
by Matt
Turkeytop wrote:
Mon Dec 19, 2022 8:54 am
Matt wrote:
Mon Dec 19, 2022 5:48 am


You forgot about the part where you were mad at yourself for not hiring a union snowman builder...

I AM a Union snowman builder.
With the union breaks, it must take 17 hours to build a snowman.

Re: Fun in the Snow

Posted: Mon Dec 19, 2022 3:04 pm
by Circle Seven
Turkeytop wrote:
Mon Dec 19, 2022 8:54 am
I AM a Union snowman builder.
You're not in the union anymore.
SOAR don't count.

Re: Fun in the Snow

Posted: Mon Dec 19, 2022 3:36 pm
by Turkeytop
Matt wrote:
Mon Dec 19, 2022 2:06 pm


With the union breaks, it must take 17 hours to build a snowman.
A snowman and a snow woman in 15 minutes.
8:00 am: I made a snowman.

8:10 - A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.

8:15 - So, I made a snow woman.

Re: Fun in the Snow

Posted: Mon Dec 19, 2022 4:05 pm
by Turkeytop
Circle Seven wrote:
Mon Dec 19, 2022 3:04 pm
Turkeytop wrote:
Mon Dec 19, 2022 8:54 am
I AM a Union snowman builder.
You're not in the union anymore.
SOAR don't count.

I'm Union for life. I have full authority to build a snowman, provided I respect the rights of other Unions.

The Coal Workers insert his eyes, The Farm Workers add on the carrot nose. And I have to bring in the pipe fitters to put the pipe in his mouth.

Re: Fun in the Snow

Posted: Mon Dec 19, 2022 4:30 pm
by Circle Seven
Turkeytop wrote:
Mon Dec 19, 2022 4:05 pm
The Coal Workers insert his eyes, The Farm Workers add on the carrot nose. And I have to bring in the pipe fitters to put the pipe in his mouth.
I believe you said you formed the snowman. The Roll shop is filing a grievance. And you put one on top of the other. The Riggers have something to say about that.

Re: Fun in the Snow

Posted: Mon Dec 19, 2022 4:38 pm
by Turkeytop
I'm not concerned about the riggers. They're too busy rigging US elections.

Re: Fun in the Snow

Posted: Mon Dec 19, 2022 6:38 pm
by Matt
The word union should never be capitalized.

Re: Fun in the Snow

Posted: Mon Dec 19, 2022 6:52 pm
by Turkeytop
Matt wrote:
Mon Dec 19, 2022 6:38 pm
The word union should never be capitalized.
In Labour Relations parlance, Union and Company are always capitalized.

Re: Fun in the Snow

Posted: Mon Dec 19, 2022 7:34 pm
by Rate This
Matt wrote:
Mon Dec 19, 2022 6:38 pm
The word union should never be capitalized.
For a contractual agreement it always is… it’s an entity just like the company is.

Re: Fun in the Snow

Posted: Tue Dec 20, 2022 7:52 pm
by audiophile
Turkeytop wrote:
Sun Dec 18, 2022 10:11 pm
It snowed last night...

8:00 am: I made a snowman.

8:10 - A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.

8:15 - So, I made a snow woman.

8:17 - My feminist neighbor complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere.

8:20 - The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snowmen instead.

8:22 - The transgender man..women...person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts.

8:25 - The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.

8:28 - I was being called a racist because the snow couple is white.

8:31 - The middle eastern gent across the road demanded the snow woman be covered up.

8:40 - The Police arrived saying someone had been offended.

8:42 - The feminist neighbor complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needed to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.

8:43 - The council equality officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.

8:45 - The TV news crew from ABC showed up. I was asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snowwomen? I replied "Snowballs" and am now called a sexist.

9:00 - I was on the News as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobe sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.

9:10 - I was asked if I have any accomplices. My children were taken by social services.

9:29 - Far left protesters offended by everything marched down the street demanding for me to be arrested.

By noon it all melted

Moral:

There is no moral to this story. It is what we have become, all because of snowflakes.

Merry Xmas to all :-)
Might be your best post ever, LOL!

Merry Christmas!