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Say No to the Nursing Home

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Turkeytop
Posts: 8879
Joined: Mon Aug 16, 2010 9:27 pm

Say No to the Nursing Home

Post by Turkeytop » Sun Dec 27, 2020 4:26 pm

Someone e mailed this to me.
[No NURSING HOME FOR ME!!!!


No nursing home for me. I'll be checking into a MARRIOTT!

With the average cost for nursing home care being $275.00 per day, there is a better way when we get old and too feeble .
I've already checked on reservations at The FAIRFIELD.

For a combined long-term-stay discount and senior discount, it's $79.00 per night.

Breakfast is included, and some have happy hours
in the afternoon.

That leaves $196.00 a day for lunch and dinner in any restaurant we want, or room service, laundry,
gratuities and special TV movies.

Plus, they provide a spa, swimming pool, a workout room, a lounge and washer dryer, etc.

Most have free toothpaste and razors, and all have free shampoo and soap.

$10 worth of tips a day, you'll have the entire staff scrambling to help you.

They treat you like a customer, not a patient.

There's a city bus stop out front, and seniors ride free.

The handicap bus will also pick you up (if you fake a decent limp).

To meet other nice people, call a church bus on Sundays.

For a change of scenery, take the airport shuttle bus and eat at one of
the nice restaurants there.

While you're at the airport, fly somewhere.

Otherwise, the cash keeps building up.

It takes months to get into decent nursing homes. Marriott will take your reservation today.

And you're not stuck in one place forever -- you can move from Marriott to Marriott, or even from city to city.

Want to see Hawaii ? They have COURTYARD there too.

TV broken? Light bulbs need changing? Need a mattress replaced? No problem. They fix everything, and apologize for the inconvenience.

The Marriott has a night security person and daily room service. The maid checks to see if you are ok. If not, they'll call an ambulance . or the undertaker.

If you fall and break a hip, Medicare will pay for the hip, and Marriott will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.

And no worries about visits from family. They will always be glad to find you, and probably check in for a few days mini-vacation.

The grand-kids can use the pool.
What more could I ask for?

So, when I reach that golden age,
I'll face it with a grin.


AIDS WARNING!

SENIOR CITIZENS
ARE THE NATION'S LEADING CARRIERS OF AIDS!

HEARING AIDS

BAND AIDS

ROLL AIDS

WALKING AIDS

MEDICAL AIDS

GOVERNMENT AIDS

MOST OF ALL,

MONETARY AID TO THEIR KIDS!

Not forgetting HIV
(Hair Is Vanishing)
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There is a Marriott Hotel in Niceville

https://www.google.com/maps/search/marr ... 214322,12z


I started out with nothing and I still have most of it.

kager
Posts: 1398
Joined: Mon Jun 21, 2010 11:10 pm
Location: GPS lost

Re: Say No to the Nursing Home

Post by kager » Sun Dec 27, 2020 6:06 pm

Retirees have much time on their hands in which to craft that type of humour / fiction.


"The problem with communication is the illusion that it has occurred."

Deleted User 14896

Re: Say No to the Nursing Home

Post by Deleted User 14896 » Mon Dec 28, 2020 7:51 am

Seems like a couple years ago now, there was an article in a legitimate newspaper of a guy that did that at a Holiday Inn. Saying it was cheaper for him to stay there, than at a nursing home.
I did a bit of googling. If you're fit, active enough to get out and do stuff while you're rooms getting cleaned, it's cheaper and nicer than a nursing home. However, if you're mobility limited, or may need immediate medical, it's better to be in a nursing home. The article I read said he don't stay put at one Holiday Inn.

This guy was in Houston. The Holiday Inn is $59 a night (however Holiday Inn says they can't guarantee that rate every night). Nursing homes in the Houston area run about $160 a day.

This guy moves from Inn to Inn, depending on if he wants to go on vacation. Breakfast is free. Grand kids eat free.
I'm thinking a late breakfast, pig out, and stick some stuff in your pocket for an early dinner would work. Other than a light snack, you may not pay to eat all day.



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